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A Review of Embarrassment


Woe is me. Please, for the love of all things God-like and all-powerful, find me the strength to die....


You put me on the earth to suffer, sweet God, but, alas, you give me no will to live no longer. You have forsaken me God...


How am I, only a single pathetic man, supposed to keep up hope when all hope has been dashed? When all optimism has turned sour in this chalice we call earth...


If there were life on other planets, would any of those beings too have punishment doled out to them like you have done me? Doth that not bother you God?


GOD! DOES THAT NOT BOTHER YOU! BEESEECH ME, LORD! BANISH ME! FREE ME OF THIS PAIN THAT'S

BREACHED MY WALLS!


END ME!

...

...

...



Fuck yeah, God. Fuck yeah...


Are we going to be okay?

When I started this blog about 2 weeks ago, I determined to be the optimist in the room. Find the things I like and love about the team, and focus on that. There's plenty of pessimism in the world to drown all the fish in the sea.


But after last night?


Remain cool.

Remain chill.

Don't talk about Rodney Redes.

Don't complain about Valencia, and Jiménez, and Tarek, and everyone we put out there last night.


I was right. You can never discount a team that has nothing left. Violette played with joy and precision and it destroyed our B team. It's one game, but to be the embarrassment of the league twice in the span of three games is hard to swallow. I'm choking on it right now as I write this and it really hurts.


Positives
POSITIVES? Who the fuck do you think you are? There wasn't a positive on that pitch!
  • Sofiane Djeffal. If anything came out of this match, it's that we got to get him some minutes and he showed. With Valencia being an absolute 0, he was able to find the way, connecting our shitty as fuck, pile of used needles back line to the unremarkable flavorless unbuttered toast of a frontline. This man put 20 successful balls into the final third. 20! Defensively, he still has some learning to do, but this man was great, and he's going to be great for our depth at midfield, particularly now that Ring MUST BE OUR CENTER BACK. PLEASE, DADDY RING. CB FOR ME!

  • Some don't want to hear this, but we're going to rely on Kipp again this year, and his sub in this game was a huge step towards getting him there. This literally COULDN'T have gone better for him. The team couldn't look worse, so how could he fuck it up more? He was coming on for a player who somehow dunked on his mistake with an even worse mistake. On top of this, the crowd was absolutely unforgiving. MLS fans are not going to do the same to him if he ends up playing on the road. On top of this, he played pretty damn good for having his entire career flash before his eyes a few weeks ago.

  • Owen Wolff continues to look like a budding star. He had some wonderful touches, but the strike he had in the last 10 minutes was more than dangerous. It looked like something he has in his bag, not an accident.


There's no reason to panic just yet. But as they say, the alarm bells are ringing. If we come out next week and take the second leg, this will be an afterthought. But if we don't, and it's again embarrassing... Well, I would be worried Owen, cause your coach may not be your father anymore.


Soccer clubs have a habit of cycling through coaches, and with this fervent fanbase, I'd be worried for Josh Wolff. I don't believe in this. Firing a coach when there's a bad spell is dangerous. Just look at Chelsea. There's not continuity. You can have the best players in the world at all positions and still struggle. Sometimes things don't go your way, and it's during that time you learn to be better. Josh was dealt some painful lesson to start this season. I want to see him learn and find his way.


I can't wait for Saturday. I'm sure the first team can't wait too.




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